Being Free...

Luke was telling me about this video.  When I first watched it, I laughed....but then I thought "How sad!"  If I had been in the congregation I wouldn't have though he was meaning "midget"....but those of us in the ministry know that someone would've thought that and the poor guy would've received emails telling him how insensitive he was being.  It's so hard to always live in the glass house.  We all know the feeling of constantly being under scrutiny by some of our church members.  I know we are all blessed to have those members who will stick with us through thick and thin.  I also know we have those people who constantly tell us how we can do nothing right.  Even as a write this I'm thinking "What if someone in my church sees this and it makes them mad?"....Where does that nagging thought come from?  I'll tell you where: Experience.  When I surrendered to the ministry at the age of 16 I didn't know what that would mean exactly.  I thought how wonderful it would be living a life dedicated to God's service and leading people to know and understand Him.  As time in the ministry has taught me, it's not quite that simple.  The times where I'm walking with women who are learning and growing are the highlights of ministry.  Seeing someone come to know the Lord gives unspeakable joy.  

I recently found Leading and Loving it.  I joined a VCG and watched the JustONE conference yesterday.  Julie Richard spoke about rolling around in freedom and being who we are in Christ.  It was exactly what I needed to hear.  My husband and I have been married for 8 years.  In those 8 years we have had some really terrible experiences in the ministry.  My outlook had gone from being excited, passionate & outgoing.....to anxious, guarded and fearful.  The church we are at now is wonderful.  We have been here for 9 months and we really love the people!  We have a really solid core group of people who love the Lord and love others.  We are blessed to be here and are so glad that God placed us here.  Though we are in a loving church I still find myself being anxious, guarded and fearful because of past experiences.  I know without a doubt that one things I've learned from those experiences is that I have to trust God.  He still reminds me when I get anxious about something that I need to PRAY about it.  I know many of you reading have these same feelings and I want to encourage you to turn to the Lord.  He knows our fears.  

Recently I had to call a woman in our church about something and I was very anxious about the call.  I had nothing really important to discuss, but she always takes offense easily and it is discouraging for things to turned around when I was intending good.  I prayed about it a long while before I called and the call was fine.  There have been times that I would've just worried and obsessed about it, but not taken it to the Lord.   I just have to constantly remind myself that I'm being who God wants me to be, know my heart is pure and my intentions are good.  The judgements that people make on me can't always be controlled.   I'm sure there are things along these same lines that we all struggle with.  What is it that you struggle with in ministry?  How has God taught you to get through these situations?

Whirlwind year...

I haven't posted in over a year...There are many reasons for that, all good excuses, I assure you!  After my last post we had an upheaval in our ministry.  There is not way to describe it accept it was the perfect storm.  The pastor we were serving under started spreading a lie about my husband and some other people.  The people who could confirm it true were out of the state on a business trip for several months.  It really only confirmed everything that God was teaching us.  1) Stand firm, no matter what 2)You are always being watched 3)My Word is your guide.....
Stand Firm...We knew the accusations were false.  There were many in the church who also knew them to be false, but the pastor had rallies with an influential, albeit spiritually immature man in the church to concoct the lies.  We boldly proclaimed the truth, cried a lot of tears, and found out who our true friends were.  We could've fought it, but the damage was done and the church was already falling apart. This brings me to the second point
You are always being watched...We had the unique opportunity to minister to those who were supporting us.  We read scripture together, prayed, encouraged trust in God, and tried to assure them bitterness and anger towards these people would only harm us in the end. Of course preaching it was the easy part, living it out was very difficult.  My husband was in a meeting one night with all of the deacons.  I was crying in the doorway of his office.  The pastor (who started all of this) walked by and said "I'm not going to walk past you with out saying anything."  That really dumfounded me that he wouldn't be "rude" to me in the hall, but he'd destroy our lives with a lie.  I said "We are telling the truth.  It's ridiculous that you are letting this lie destroy everything."  I mean really, what else could I say "Hi, how are you?"  "It sure was hot today"....His statement to me described him exactly, always oblivious to the obvious.  Later I found out some ladies in the nursery heard my statement.  I hadn't thought of it at the time, but I was glad I didn't lash out, which of course is what I wanted to do.  If I could've made him spontaneously combust at that moment I would've done so, only the Lord in me stayed calm.
My Word is your Guide...When all of this happened were could we turn?  God was the ONLY place to go.  Our friends and family had encouraging words, but the only true guide we had was God and His Word.  We saw God being faithful to us as we really tried to do what He wanted us to do in this situation.
The 6 months that followed this time was the most trying time of my life-I'll write more about this sometimes this week.  Be faithful in all you do...